The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
