Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
