I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
