my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize