I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
