My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
