i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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