Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
