Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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