Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
