Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
