Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
