he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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