wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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