can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
