Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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