I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish i was in the wii world.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize