if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
