She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
