Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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