Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
