Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
