I wish you could order shots online.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize