WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Randomize
