Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
All the doctor said was why
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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