Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
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