I got chris browned last night
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
