He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
