i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
