I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
