So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm passing your future prison.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
