week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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