he wants to bone in the snuggie
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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