Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
