6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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