You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
