Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize