I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
