We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
