I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
