is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
