I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize