I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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