Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm at about main and main street
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
