Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
