yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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