Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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