NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize