we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
