She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize