I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
