Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
