Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
