.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
