So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
