I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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