when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I have demons in me.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize