i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
