Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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