haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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