So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
