try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
